Betrayal, Part 1

Thirteen.

"Yes. Uh huh. Oh, really? I'll be over there tonight. Thanks."

Mom abruptly hangs up the phone, huffing angrily. I wonder who she was talking to? She paces the kitchen, balled-up fists, battling ideas inside her mind. I can tell she is close to having another break-down. But suddenly, an epiphany--her eyes light up as she turns to face me.

Her voice is sugar-coated, expression equally sweet. 'Don't strain yourself,' I thought.

"Let's go to daddy's house tomorrow. We'll spend the night, won't that be fun!"

"But mom, Principal said I've missed too much school already."

The sickeningly sweet expression now instantly turns cold. She grabs me by the sweater and pulls my face toward hers. I can see a craze, a desperation, in her eyes.

"DON'T YOU LOVE ME? DON'T YOU WANT MOMMY TO BE HAPPY? YOU'RE JUST LIKE YOUR DAD, DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT ANYONE BUT YOURSELF! WOULDN'T EVEN NOTICE IF I SHRIVELED UP AND DIED, WOULD YOU? HUH? TOO SELF-ABSORBED! WELL, GUESS WHAT? I DON'T CARE ABOUT YOU, EITHER!!"

She lets go, slumps down in the chair beside me, and sobs, hands in her face.

I have become pretty good at forcing the tears back. But my heart hurts. I can't breathe. My face is burning up.

"I'm going for a walk," was all I could say in response. I pull on my jacket, then my shoes, ready to make my escape.

"Wait..."

Sighing, I turn around. She walks toward me, tears still streaming down her face as she pulls me into a hug. Unsure, I leave my hands limp at my side. "I didn't mean that, I was just angry. You know I love you, honey, right? Please..." She hiccups. "Just go with me tomorrow, I need you. It's the last time I'll make you miss school, okay? Promise."

"Okay. If it means that much to you, okay." I was already falling behind, what was one more day? I didn't care anymore.

I pulled myself away and left the house, enduring yet another long and painful walk. Now I would let the tears flow.